


Do I Wanna' Know?

by earthseraph



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Almost Kiss, Alternate Universe - High School, Baseball, Coming Out, Jock!Dean, M/M, Making Out, Photography, Slight Gay Panic, music refrences, punk!Cas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-09
Updated: 2014-05-17
Packaged: 2018-01-11 18:36:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1176498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earthseraph/pseuds/earthseraph
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dean Winchester meets the blue eyed punk Castiel Novak, automatic sparks fly. But with the troubles of high school caste systems, will those sparks stay alight? </p><p>----<br/>“Hold your letterman over your shoulder like one of those Holister models and angle your body to the side while slightly looking at me.”</p><p>“I’m not a fucking model.” Dean hissed under his breath, trying to stand the way Castiel wanted, </p><p>“You’re in front of my camera therefore you are my model, got it? Now smile like you mean it.”</p><p>Dean bit back a smirk, “I’ll smile when you stop quoting The Killers.”</p><p>“Open up your eager eyes because your Mr.Brightside.” Castiel said through a sly grin, his camera shuttering away.</p><p>Dean snorted a laugh, “Are you human or are you a photographer?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's Not My Fault, I'm Happy.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first multi-chapter high school AU, so bare with me please! There's going to be a bunch of music references in here, the title from [Arctic Monkeys- Do I Wanna' Know?](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpOSxM0rNPM&feature=kp) and this chapter title is from [Passion Pit- It's Not My Fault, I'm Happy. The idea came from ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmtsXAmKSkA)[This Post](http://earth-seraph.tumblr.com/post/76020405010/earth-seraph-i-made-this-with-no-reason-but-i) i made ages ago and if you want to know a little more about what you might see here then you can read the little caption c: 
> 
> Unbeata'd

Dean smiled and kissed his hand, "We've been through so much shit, babe."

Castiel hummed and nodded, "I know. I think the heavens hated us or something...” he sucked on his lip piercing, “I thought you’d have played it safe too." 

Dean rolled over on the grass and perched his head on Cas' chest, "Well, i’m glad i’m not that stupid and didn’t."

"I know. I didn't know then- but I know now."

Dean kissed Cas' shoulder, "M' glad we put up with all the shit or we wouldn't be here today."  
"Me too.."  
\----

_Months earlier.._

Hit the ball, run, don't get caught, get to the base, run home, catch the ball. That's all baseball was. It was a game of chase the ball and don't get caught. But of course people made a huge deal about it, when they won it was a huge deal, when they lost it was a huge deal. And yeah- it got to Dean's head most of the time. The fact that people noted his batting average, how many missed balls he had- hell even his shoe size, made his head swell with pride.

Dean posed with the rest of his team and smiled. Large and toothy, eyes squinting in the blaring sunlight. He felt a drop of sweat roll down his back, the uncomfortable yet familiar clammy heat making his jersey stick. He kept his eyes on the camera lense, moving when he was told to move and staying still when the kid put his hand up for them to stop moving. Dean listened to the wind hitting the grass, cars driving by, cheerleading practice on the other side of the field and the _click click click_ sound of the shutter flying off from the kids camera. 

The 'kid' taking the photos was a punk named Castiel Novak. He was a senior like Dean and was one of the many resident punks at the school. Dean didn't know much about him- just that he was nifty with the camera, had a face full of piercings and was openly out at their school. He looked like he could take care of himself- with the intimidating expression that usually graced his face to the cheshire grin, he seemed pretty bully proof. But that didn’t mean he actually was. 

Pushing the thought to the back of his head, he focused on what his team was doing. Everyone was dispersing and separating, Castiel looking at him with a raised pierced eyebrow-

“Come on number three, I don’t have all day.”

Dean looked at Castiel, “What?”

“Time for your single.” Castiel waved his camera in the air and turned around to walk to home base, the red sand rising into the air as he walked through it, some collecting on his shoes.

Dean followed Castiel, he pulled his letterman off and threw it over his shoulder taking his time walking to home base listening to the soft thuds his cleats made on the sand. He stopped on home and watched Castiel look around, his camera was hanging loosely around his neck, thumb and index finger on his lips as his eyes drifted around in thought. Dean took the time to actually _look_ at castiel; messy hair flopping on his head, eyes blue like Jollyranchers with a thin black line on the bottom lid, piercings resting on his face like he was born with them, ever so slightly sun kissed skin, a simple white tee on hanging off his chest that looked fucking artfully simple, pants that shouldn’t be that tight and look so comfortable, and simple red Chucks. Dean’s mind added all the pieces together, sure he wasn’t exactly his prefered gender- but he was pretty hot. 

“Number three!”

Dean snapped out of his hot-punk-induced tranced and focused on the hot punk himself, “What?”

“That seems to be the only word you know.” Castiel muttered, slightly exasperated, “Stand there.” 

He pointed to the base a few steps behind Dean. Dean walked back to the base and looked at Castiel whose eye was already looking through his camera at Dean. 

“A little to the right.”

Dean took two steps to the right-

“Hold your letterman over your shoulder like one of those Holister models and angle your body to the side while slightly looking at me.”

“I’m not a fucking model.” Dean hissed under his breath, trying to stand the way Castiel wanted, 

“You’re in front of my camera therefore you are my model, got it? Now smile like you mean it.”

Dean bit back a smirk, “I’ll smile when you stop quoting The Killers.”

“Open up your eager eyes because your Mr.Brightside.” Castiel said through a sly grin, his camera shuttering away.

Dean snorted a laugh, “Are you human or are you a photographer?”

Castiel stood up from where he was slightly bowing and let the camera drop to his chest, “It was only a picture, it was only a picture.”, he singsonged.

Dean laughed, at the little hip wiggle Castiel did, “You get the pics’ you wanted?” Dean watched Castiel check the pictures on his camera and nodd. 

“Yeah, we’re good here, thanks Mr.Brightside.”

Dean chuckled, “No problem, Photographer.”

Castiel shrugged, singing, “I got film but i’m not a filmer.”

Dean laughed and ran his fingers through his sweat wet hair, “Can I see ‘em?”

Castiel tilted his head to the side, “See what?”

“The pictures of my Hollister-esque modeling.”

“Oh! Yeah, hold on,” Castiel bit his lip and looked down at his camera, pressing some buttons before handing it to Dean- still around Castiel’s neck. 

Dean stood next to Castiel, trying to ignore the little puffs of breath on his neck as he looked through the images of himself. And by god- Castiel made him look sexy. Sure, he was hot; he had a nice body and ladies wanted him. But Castiel did something to make him look like one of those Greek Gods that he saw when they went to the art museum in Sophomore year. 

“It’s not edited yet.” Castiel said suddenly, his whiskey rough voice close to Dean’s ear.

Dean shivered slightly and cleared his throat, “They look awesome already, man.”

“Thanks, but editing is needed. Trust me.”

Dean arched an eyebrow, “What- my natural looks not good enough for you?”

“Sorry, Mr.Brightside, you’re not as hot as you think you are.”

“I’m pretty sure any pretty lady could testify against that, Photographer.”

“Sss, don’t think so. They’re probably all drunk when they go out with you.”

Dean scoffed, “I’m hot stuff and you know it.”

Castiel gave Dean a once over and shrugged, pulling his camera back.

“That’s not a no.” Dean smiled, placing his hands on his hips.

Castiel licked his lips, “Not a yes either.”

Dean leaned into Castiel, “We all know it was a yes.”

Castiel moved his lips next to Dean’s ear, “You can’t handle me, Mr.Brightside.”

“You don’t know what I can or can’t handle, Photographer.”

“I know you can’t handle me- that’s for sure.”

Dean scoffed, “I can too.”

Castiel tugged on the strap of his camera and shrugged while walking backwards, “You’re in denial, Mr.Brightside.”

Dean shook his head and watched Castiel walk away. His hips swaying side to side as he crossed the field. Dean smiled to himself- he didn’t know what just happened but he knew he liked it. Dean carded his fingers through his hair and looked around him, nobody was watching him, a swell of something filled his chest- he finally had something that nobody knew about. It was his and Castiel’s memory, their slight flirting, their music jokes, theirs and that was it. Maybe Castiel didn’t enjoy this little chat like Dean did, but all that mattered was it was something Dean could hold onto a weight himself down with.

\----

That night Dean lied in bed thinking about that encounter with Castiel. It was probably the best time he’s had in a while. Laughing about music and slightly flirting with one another. Dean didn’t even play for that team- per say. But Cas, he’d go gay, or bi, or whatever for Cas. 

And since when the fuck did he become ‘Cas’?

Dean sighed and rolled over, he pulled the pillow over his head and closed his eye. He tried thinking of Zooey Deschanel but her blue eyes and black hair fused into those of Castiel- bright and messy. Every woman he’d think of would drift his mind to pierced skin and The Killers songs. 

He’ll have to deal with this at sometime, and tonight wasn’t that night.

\----  
Dean nodded his head to the music flowing through his ears, head moving from side to side as he made his way down the hallway. He had his uniform and equipment duffle slung over his shoulder, he had a good ten minutes before practice started so he took the long route to the locker room. He soaked in the quietness of the hallway, the feeling of solitude that was appreciated in nice heaps. Dean looked at the blur of posters crowding the walls, lockers that had stickers on the outside and locks that has pencils stuck in them so they wouldn’t lock. 

Rounding the corner, Dean saw two familiar red Chucks sticking out of a niche on the side of the hallway. Dean smiled and made his way to them, he leaned on the wall of the niche and lightly tapped Castiel’s shoe, “Hey, Photographer.”

Castiel’s head snapped up, he gave Dean a look before pulling out his ear buds and sighing, “Don’t you have balls to chase?”

Dean shrugged and sat down next to him, “I got time.” he nodded to the laptop, “Watcha’ doing?”

“Editing.”

Dean leaned into Castiel’s shoulder, “Can I see?”

Castiel gave Dean a once over and sighed, he angled his laptop on his lap and let Dean see what he was doing. He was in photoshop, the laptop screen full of different sections of tools and nicknacks. The image he was working on was of Dean’s team, their name scrawled over their heads in some simple font while the player names and line up was at the bottom. Dean leaned in closer to the screen and whistled, some how Castiel got the team to look like world class models and not sweaty grunts that ate pizza like it was their life.

“Shit, Cas, that looks fucking amazing.”

Castiel shrugged, clicking other elements, “I could do better work if i wasn’t working with greasy teens.”

“But we look better because of your mad editing skills.” Dean chuckled, bumping his shoulder against Castiel’s. 

Castiel nodded, he leaned his head against the wall and turned to look at Dean, “True, without me you’d all look like you just came out of a sauna.”

Dean chuckled under his breath and leaned against the wall. He looked at Cas’ eyes, they were darker than yesterday on the field, the eyeliner a little bit thicker but still subtle. Dean thought Cas’ eyes made his whole personality. Even though he might not smile, you’d probably be able to see it in his eye. His eyes were the window to his soul, to his whole field of emotion. And they were fucking beautiful. 

They both stared at each other. Neither budging from the almost stare competition they had going on. Dean moved his hand onto the cold linoleum floor between them and leaned into Castiel. He felt Castiel’s breath ghost over his lips and smelled the crisp mint of whatever gum Cas was chewing. Dean flicked his eyes up from Castiel’s eyes to his lips, asking for permission when he saw Castiel lick his lips and do the same. Dean angled his head and moved in, about to test his theory, about to taste Castiel-

_”Carry on my wayward son-!"_

Dean jumped back and pulled his phone out of his pocket, he slid his thumb across the screen and sighed, “I’ll be there in a minute- calm down- fine.” Dean cleared his throat, “Practice.. uh, i’ll see you.” He got up from where he was sitting and grabbed his duffel. 

Castiel smirked, his cheeks slightly flushed,“Okay, See you Mr.Brightside.”

Dean nodded, a blush rising up his cheeks as he walked backwards down the hallway. He turned around and looked at the floor as he walked to the locker room, he almost kissed a guy. He almost Castiel Novak. He was fucking screwed.


	2. Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Go.”
> 
> “No.”
> 
> “ _Dean._ ”
> 
> “ _Jo._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title from: [Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa- Vampire Weekend](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5ksJ7TN2xA) and i'm going to be naming each chapter off the song that inspired it. So, expect a lot of music. From Classic to Bachata. Yes, Bachata. 
> 
> Unbeta'd
> 
> Enjoy!

Dean was off his game. Literally. All he could think about was that almost kiss that happened not even an hour ago and not the fact that he didn’t even try to swing his bat when the ball flew his way. Dean heard the soft thump of the ball behind him and sheepishly lowered his bat stance and looked behind him. He chuckled nervously, “  
Oops?“

“Winchester!”

Dean hunched his shoulders and turned to his coach whose eyes looked like they burned with fury and concern at the same time, “Yeah?”, he made his way to the foul zone where his coach was standing with his hands on his hips.

“What’s your problem?”

“No problem, sir.”

“I ain’t your father- now tell me what’s going on.”

Dean cleared his throat and thought about the almost kiss again, he shook the memory out of his mind, trying not to blush, “Nothing, Coach.”

“Don’t lie to me, boy. I almost raised you so I know every little face you make- and that one’s full of lying.”

Dean groaned inwardly. It would be his luck that his coach happened to be his surrogate uncle and legal guardian, “I swear, Bobby, there’s nothing.”

Bobby gave him another eye squint, “Well whatever you’re not telling me is throwing you off your game so go home.”

“But-”

“Nope, you lie and now you pay the price.”

Dean sighed and fiddled with his bat, “Fine.”

Bobby nodded and hesitated, “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“I know Bobby, but..” Dean bit his lip, could he tell his uncle about Cas? Bobby looked like a full fledged redneck, shotgun and American flag hanging haphazardly on the front porch. What if he got disowned, where would Sammy go? Where would he go? What if Bobby put him through those harsh camps to ‘get the gay out’? Was he even gay? Dean felt a slight panic rise in his chest and decided against telling him anything- he could pretend like nothing happened. He could ignore Cas and live his life like Castiel Novak didn’t exist and was so low on the caste system that he wouldn’t exist to Dean. It was possible, “Nothing, there’s nothing going on.”

Bobby grunted and nodded, “Get on home, boy. I expect homework to be done before you go do whatever you do when you’re not playing.”

Dean nodded and walked away with a heavy feeling on his shoulders. He picked up his mit and gave a wave to the team before heading off to the locker room. Dean showered quickly- wanting to leave the school as fast as he could and get home to the comfort of his room. He didn’t want to think about Castiel, about his lips or any of him for that matter. He wanted to go back to the way it used to be; him being Dean Winchester the popular jock and Castiel Novak going back to being called ‘That Kid’ and nothing more.

No more thoughts about cameras, or chapped lips, or pretty blue eyes or even the smiled Cas made with his eyes. Nope. None of that. 

It was possible, right?

\----

Dean sighed roughly when he took one step through the door. The smell of mac and cheese was floating through the air awakening his stomach, he walked through the house- still with his duffel and backpack on, until he got to the kitchen, “Hey, Ellen.”

Ellen turned around and smiled, “Hey, Sweetie, aren’t you supposed to be at practice?”

He gave her a kiss on her forehead and shook his head, “Bobby told me to go home.”

“That old coot giving you trouble?”

Dean chuckled and shook his head, “Nah, I was just off my game.”, he grabbed a banana and started peeling it, “Jo home?”

“Upstairs,”

“Sammy?”

“Debate, and down in thirty- dinner’ll be ready.”

“Okay.”, he said through a clump of banana in his mouth. He took a detour to his room and threw his stuff down by the door before going to Jo’s room. He figured if there was anyone he could tell it would be Jo. She was friends with a perky redhead named Charlie who was president of LGBTQ club at school and was Dean’s go-to, because there were just some things you could _not_ tell your little brother. 

Dean knocked a few times before opening the door. Jo was laying across her bed, feet crossed with a book in front of her. With the sound of the door opening she turned and rolled until she hit the wall, “Hey, Dean-o.”

“Hey, Jo.” He closed the door and sighed, he can do this.

She frowned, “What’s eatin’ at you?‘

“Um, I gotta’ tell you something..”

She sat up and crossed her legs, patting the bed in invite for Dean to sit down. 

Dean took the seat and leaned against the wall. His eyes drifted to the REO Speedwagon posters before he opened his mouth, “Don’t say anything or judge me okay?” he spared her a glance out of the corner of his eye and saw her give him a concerned nod. Dean cleared his throat, “Well, uh, yesterday when we had to take those stupid baseball pictures the photographer and I kinda’ flirted. A lot. And, um, under _normal_ circumstances I’d be all for it.. but the photographer was a.. dude, and today we almost kissed? And- I just- I don’t know what to do Jo.. I’m not gay, I can’t be- what if I get disowned or something? What if I get bullied?” Dean hesitantly turned to Jo who looked like she was about to laugh, “What?”

Jo sputtered out a small laugh, “You haven’t realized that maybe you might be a bit gay, I mean _Han Solo, Doctor Sexy, Matt Cohen_ , come on Dean. Now, tell me who’s stolen your maiden heart?”

Dean gave her a blank stare before quickly saying, “CastielNovak”

“I couldn’t quite hear that.”

Dean cleared his rawing throat, “Castiel Novak.”

Jo rose a dainty eyebrow, “Never thought that was your type.. then again he is a little hot, isn’t he?”

Dean hummed in agreement before stopping himself, Jo gave him a pointed stare.

“You totally want to kiss him.”

“Do not.”, because Dean Winchester was not above acting like a five year old.

“Mmmhmm, you do.”

Dean groaned, “I come here for your help and you laugh. Thanks, Jo.”

Jo shrugged, “Just kiss him- see if you like it. And if you do you’re probably like bi or pan.”

“I’m a pan?”

“No you idiot, pansexual. You know, not really caring about gender.”

Dean picked at the floral bedspread, “And what if I do like it? What then, the team will hate me. The school will probably hate me.”

She flicked his nose with her finger, “You don’t know that. And if you listen to your baseball team over a connection you made with someone- then you’re stupid.”

“Okay, I’ll just.. kiss him. Or something.”

“Really?”

Dean hesitated before nodding, he could do this.

“Tell me about how those piercings feel against your lips.” She said through a smirk.

Dean rolled his eyes, “No.” he got up from her bed and walked over to the door, “Thanks, Jo.”

She gave him a half salute, “Welcome, Winchester.”

\----

“Go.”

“No.”

“ _Dean._ ”

“ _Jo._ ”

They were standing at the entrance of the courtyard. Jo with a hand on her hip and Dean trying to hide in his letterman. Both were staring at Cas, he was sitting at one of the larger trees in the courtyard, his friends were surrounding him but he wasn’t paying any attention. He had his laptop on his knees, headphones plugged into his ears and the signature look of his camera around his neck. 

 

Dean nudged Jo’s side, “Can you go ask him to meet me by the old bio room?”

Jo pursed her lips, “Why can’t you go?”

“There’s so many people..” he mumbled, sticking his hands in his pocket. 

“You’re a wimp, Winchester.”

“You’ll do it?”

“Of course, that’s what family’s for.”

Dean pulled her in for a side hug, “Thank you, Jo.” he watched her walk off and took off in a light jog to the old bio room. 

The room was abandoned when they made the new school- but everyone believed that it was haunted because it was on some Indian burial ground. Which it wasn’t. But living in a city like Brooklyn made you believe everything that was brought your way. 

Dean paced back and forth. He was nervous. His stomach was fluttering with butterflies that must have been transforming into pterodactyls. It was just going to be a kiss- a little brush of the lips- to see if he could go that way with Castiel. He wanted too- like hell he did. Cas was fucking hot- but.. the whole guy and guy thing was something of a problem. 

Dean turned around when he heard someone clear their throat. If he thought Cas was hot before- he’s definitely hot now. He had navy blue linen pants hanging low on his hips, a Vampire Weekend shirt on that was slightly bigger than his actual measurements and blue Chucks on. He had on his usual piercings but eyeliner that was a bit thicker than yesterday and the day before that. 

“Hey, Mister Brightside.” Castiel smirked, he ruffled his hair with one hand and took a step closer to Dean, “How can I help you?”

Dean closed the space between them, his hands resting on Cas’ hips, “I want to try something- if that’s okay.” he murmured, voice going down a few octaves.

Castiel winded his arms around Dean’s neck and rose slightly on his toes, “I think i’d be fine with whatever you want to try.”

Dean licked his lips and looked Cas in the eye once more before leaning in. He ignored the fact that anyone who happened to walk by could find them here; find the jock and punk probably going at each other's face like they were lost lovers. Instead of thinking about what would happen if someone found them- he focused on the feel of Cas against him. Hard lines and muscled instead of soft and curvy. The musky smell of spice and.. orange? Instead of airy and fruity smells. He focused on Cas’ calloused fingers rubbing random lines into his neck and twisting the longer ends of his hair between his fingers, the slight dig of Cas’ camera in his gut, he focused on the lips against his. Lips that he could write sonnets about. 

Cas’ lips were softer than Dean expected. He thought they were going to be rough like dry skin, but instead were soft and moist, a little rougher than a girl’s but still nice feeling. He gripped tighter at Cas’ hips and licked the seam of his lips- waiting for Castiel to open up for him. Dean moaned slightly when Castiel parted his lips like it was something normal. The lip and tongue piercing were cool against Dean’s skin, almost washing out the fire that Cas alit on his skin, but instead making Dean crave more. Crave more of Cas’ lips, crave more of the strong feeling of another male against him, crave more than french kisses and fingers running through his hair. 

Castiel wasn’t forcing the kiss, the kiss wasn’t even harsh for that matter. He seemed slightly hesitant, like he was holding back, but caring at the same time. Like he _wanted_ Dean to like it and not just make out with some random guy outside the apparently haunted bio room. 

Dean pulled back and panted slightly. Castiel was looking back at him with slightly flushed cheeks but with the same smirk that he always wore. In all honesty Dean did not expect to like kissing Cas that much. He thought it was going to be something normal- a little brush of lips, an awkward laugh and then they part ways. But Dean just wants more, he’s like a hungry man that can’t be sated. And that slightly scares him. 

“How was it, Mister Brightside?” Castiel whispered, hands still twirling Dean’s hair. 

“Awesome.”

“Mmm,” Castiel hummed, “would you be interested in more?” 

Dean rubbed Cas’ hips in little circles, “Like boyfriends or what are we talking about?”

Castiel shrugged, “Well, we can do a little trial and error. See how we do and if you want to make me your boyfriend then i’ll be your boyfriend.”

“Okay, just two things. One, lets keep this between us for now- i’m not.. out, yet. Two, can it stay- uh- monogamous?”

Castiel chuckled, “Of course to both, wouldn’t want our golden boy jealous or uncomfortable, now would we?”

“No we would not.”

“Can I see your phone?”

Dean nodded, he slipped his hand into his back pocket and gave it to Castiel. 

Castiel fiddled with it for a moment before smiling, “You are now granted with my phone number. Don’t hesitate to use it.”

Dean looked at the new contact and smiled, “I won’t.”

Castiel smiled and gave him a peck on the lips, “See you, Mister Brightside.”

“Bye, Photographer.”

Dean watched Castiel give him a once over while walking backwards. His hips swaying side to side and his lip piercing between his teeth, before turning around and disappearing through the gate between the old bio building and the new school. He looked at his phone, Cas’ contact saved as _Photographer_ on the screen, he opened a new text and wrote, 

**To Photographer: Meet me at the park by the school, say eight?**

and got back a, 

**From Photographer: Will do. Be glad it’s a Friday (;**

Dean smiled at the response and picked up his backpack. He could do this, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking about putting the date-not-date in here but then I decided against it. 
> 
> Originally this chapter was going to be named after [Campus- Vampre Weekend](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H47KFAaw1dU&list=RDf5ksJ7TN2xA) but I couldn't make it flow with this chapter. 
> 
> Also for clarification:  
> Jo's a junior- 17 yrs  
> Sam's in 8th grade- 14 yrs  
> Dean's a senior-17 yrs  
> Cas is a senior- 18yrs
> 
> They live in Brooklyn because there's so much I can do with that setting. 
> 
> Any other questions you can shoot me an ask on tumblr or comment on here c:


	3. 400 Lux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean rolled his eyes, “Nerd.”
> 
> “Jock.”
> 
> Dean winked, “Don’t you know it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title from [400 Lux- Lorde](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRfpZm7Sja8&feature=kp).
> 
> I'm so pleased that I actually got a chapter up this weekend!
> 
> Unbeta'd 
> 
> Enjoy!

Dean waited patiently at the park. It was nearing eight and he was nervous. Being nervous seemed like a redundant thing when it came to seeing Cas, his stomach always starting with a constant flutter of nerves that wouldn’t go away. He didn’t know what about Cas it was- maybe the fact that he was a guy and that was new territory for Dean. Dean never acted like this when it came to going out with chicks. He was cool and collected and he most definitely did not get fucking butterflies in his stomach. 

Instead of freaking out over the fact that Castiel did things to him that wasn’t supposed to happen; he leaned against the hood of his Impala and watched the stars drift by. It was a pretty night, not exactly clear skies- but clear enough that he could see the multitude of stars peek through the purple clouds. 

Dean always loved the stars. It was something that he got from his mom; he distinctly remembers quiet nights in Kansas out in a random field watching the stars. She’d point out the constellations she knew, telling Dean stories of how they got there. 

_”You see that one, Dean?” She pointed to a cluster of stars off to the right of where they were laying._

_Dean rolled closer to his mom, “What’s that, Ma’?”_

_Mary chuckled lightly, “That’s Orion.”_

_“Orion?”_

_Mary nodded and took Dean’s small pudgy hand in hers, tracing lines and circles as she spoke, “He was a hunter in Greek mythology. He fought to his death by the arrow of Artemis and when he died Zeus thought he was so honorable that he should be lifted to the heavens and into the stars.”_

_Dean looked up wide eyed at the constellation, “So that’s a man in the sky?”_

_Mary nodded, “Orion.”_

Dean turned around when he heard the sound of crunching gravel and smiled. Castiel had changed out of what he was wearing to school and into dark sweat pants that were tapered at the ankle and thin black long sleeve, this time he had on yellow Chucks but with the same piercings and camera around his neck like it was born with him. 

“Hey, Mister Brightside.” Castiel hopped on the hood of the Impala and made himself at home right next to Dean, their arms touching. 

Dean smiled and looked back up to the sky, “Hey, Photographer.” 

Castiel hummed and picked his camera up from his neck. He pointed the lense to the sky and let the shutter go off. Dean watched Castiel while he took his shots. His face was relaxed and calm, not with the smirk that Dean had always seen on his. He looked right at home with the camera up close on his face, even when it was around his neck he looked just like now. 

Dean wondered if the camera was like a security blanket, like something he couldn’t leave home without or would freak out. Dean never had one of those things. He just got up and went, if there was anything that he felt like he couldn’t leave without it would be his Impala, but he literally couldn’t leave without her. 

They stayed quiet for a little while longer. Only the sounds of gusts of wind and the occasional car driving by almost breaking the spell of silence.

“Do you know about the stars, Dean?” Castiel asked, his voice close to a mummer.

Dean shook his head, “Not much- I mean, my mom told me some stuff.. but, no.”

Castiel brought his camera down to his chest, “Neither do I. I just like them. They make me feel small and alone in a way that’s not negative. But, as much as they make me feel alone, they also make me feel like there’s someone there for me. You know? Like, I could go out and the stars will always be there.”

Dean thought about what Castiel said. It was true. When Dean was ever feeling down or not exactly welcome, he’d find solace in the stars. The stars were a constant in Dean’s life, always there and not leaving. Sure, sometimes they changed depending on the rotation of the earth or what ever, but they all looked the same to Dean anyways. 

Dean nodded and shrugged a shoulder, “I get you.”

“The stars awaken a certain reverence, because though always present, they are inaccessible; but all natural objects make a kindred impression, when the mind is open to their influence.” Castiel said through a deep sigh, his rough voice making the quote sound more sensual than scholarly.

“That’s very.. insightful.”

Castiel chuckled, “It’s a quote.”

“By who?”

“Ralph Emerson.”

Dean rose his eyebrow, “Are you one of those scholarly types?”

Castiel shrugged his shoulder and fiddled with the strap of his camera, looking oddly nervous (which was cute in Dean’s eyes.), “No- I just, I like reading and stuff.”

“Reading is the boringest thing ever.”

“ _’Boringest’_ isn’t a word.”

Dean rolled his eyes, “Nerd.”

“Jock.”

Dean winked, “Don’t you know it.”

“I think the whole school does.” Castiel muttered. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Castiel sighed, “You like to flock your supperiorness around wherever you go, and from what I’ve seen you’re not so much as a jock as you are a big dork.” Castiel turned and looked at Dean, giving him a once over before leaning in and whispering, “Why don’t you act like how i’ve recently seen you act with other people?” before kissing him.

Dean was slightly stunned at the press of lips against his before he relaxed into it. He placed one hand on the hood, to hold his weight up, and the other on Cas’ waist, gripping him though his shirt. He could feel warmth from both Cas’ lips and his body; the heat that radiated off of him was addicting, all Dean wanted was to be closer to it. To feel it even more than now where the shirt muted it. He wanted to experience it. 

Dean skillfully rolled them over, Cas on his back on the hood while Dean was over him. Their lips separated momentarily as both of them caught their breaths, breath mingling between them. Dean smiled at the sight underneath him; Cas laying out on the hood looking slightly more than debauched, with his eyes wide and lips parted. Dean could get used to this, the way Cas was looking at him like he was the holy grail, he could get used to the kissing that was fucking amazing, he could get used to it all. Maybe he could even get used to the thought of learning Cas mentally and being his boyfriend. Dean shook his head internally and leaned back down, kissing Cas’ cheek then trailing his lips down Cas’ jaw line, the warm tingle on his skin making him humm like a content cat, before stopping and backing up. 

He couldn’t do this. Make out with Cas like it means nothing- because hell, it does. He doesn’t know why he’s feeling this way for a guy he’s only known for not even a few days. He shouldn’t feel this way, he should never have felt the way he does in the first place. He should have ignored the little smiles and flirting they did on the baseball field, ignore the little meeting they had in the hall where he was about to kiss him, he shouldn’t have met up with him earlier and made out with him, and he shouldn’t have invited him to have a peaceful evening sitting on his hood in the park. 

He shouldn’t have done any of this because it means something.

Castiel leaned up on the hood by his elbows, “What’s wrong?”

Dean scrubbed his face, “Nothing, I just-” _really want to go out with you on dates and know who you’re favorite writer is- not just know how awesome your lips feel against mine._ , “-nothing.”

Castiel shook his head and slid off the hood to stand in front of Dean, “That’s not nothing, Dean.”

Dean looked up at Castiel and then to the pavement that they were standing on, “I just.. I want this to mean more than making out.”

Castiel lightly took Dean’s wrist, “You know it can.”

Dean looked at their now laced fingers, “I’m not exactly out yet, only one other person knows and i’d need to tell my family before anyone else.”

“And why can’t you?”

Dean looked up at Castiel, who was closer than before, “I don’t want to be disowned or something. I need time.”

Castiel smiled and leaned up on his toes to press his lips against Dean’s, “If time’s all you need, I can give it to you, along with this being more. If that’s what you want.”

Dean kissed back involuntarily, “Please.”

“Then that’s that.”

“So what are you to me now?”

Castiel hummed, “Boyfriend?”

Dean smiled and kissed Castiel, _Boyfriends_.

\----

Dean didn’t see Castiel until Monday. Sure, they texted and all, but it wasn’t the same. Now, he got to see the new silver ear studs Cas told him about from a far (along with the other normal piercings), the line of eyeliner that masked his eyes like a superhero, the loose top, pants that hugged his body oh-so-perfectly and his usual red Chucks. Granted, Dean could only check out his _boyfriend_ from across the courtyard, but he could still see him in the flesh and not have to read the black font on those annoying bubbles of text. 

Dean didn’t realize he was smiling until he got hit with a balled up piece of paper on the side of his head. 

“What’s making you look all dreamy, Winchester?”

Dean looked up at Victor and threw the balled up paper back, “Nothing.”

Victor craned his neck, “Checking out someone?”

“No.” Dean crossed his arms defensively. 

Victor smirked, “Yeah you are! So,” he leaned closer on the table, “who you checking out?”

“I wasn’t checking anyone out.”

“Mmmhmm, because you can go without checking out a pretty lady for over five seconds.” 

Dean rolled his eyes. To his defense he wasn’t even checking out a girl. He was checking out a very hot, and masculine guy who just happen to like a little eye make up here and there. He was checking out the hottest guy other than himself. The hottest guy that he would like to go up and kiss right now, maybe lace their fingers together and maybe just mark his claim of Castiel Novak and make sure that everyone in Brooklyn knew that Castiel was his. 

But he couldn’t. Not because Castiel was the one with self conscious issues regarding his sexuality- but because Dean was. And Dean slightly resented himself for that. 

Dean opened his mouth to deliver a snarky reply, when the bell rang. He ignored the shit eating grin that Victor was giving him and walked his way down the hall to the first class of the day. 

\----

Only thirty minutes left and then school’s out, Dean chanted to himself. It was only Monday and he was tired of being at school. It didn’t help that his last class of the day was a total drag, for two reasons. One, it was English- and English sucked more than pre-calc. Two, he only just noticed that Castiel was in his class and all he wanted to do was go touch at least a little sliver of his skin. 

Dean stopped doodling on the side of his notebook and looked up to where his teacher was talking about some project.

“It’ll be worth twenty percent of your grade. I want each and everyone of you to find a famous poem and remaster it to your taste, got it? It’s November right now, I expect this in December, your silbi says the rest.”

Dean looked down at the paper he took at the beginning of class. How the fuck was he of all people supposed to rewrite a poem? He spared a glance at Castiel who had a small smile on his lips. Of course, he would know what to do. Dean rolled his eyes and sighed, he had until December anyways. 

The rest of class was spent secretly texting Cas random pictures off the internet and discreetly watching him check his phone every so often and bite his lip while shaking his head at the screen. 

Dean tried to hold his composure when Castiel barked a laughter and got the attention of the class. Cas’ genuine smile fell and his usual slight smirk appeared with a raised eyebrow to the people looking at him; Dean rolled his eyes at that and turned back to look at the papers on his desk. He glanced at the clock on the wall and saw that there wasn’t much time left in class anyways, he shoved the papers into his notebook then into his backpack, not caring in the slightest that his papers were wrinkling. 

When the bell ran he bolted out of the classroom and went to his locker. Dean had to spin the combination twice before it opened for him. He looked around the locker before he let his eyes rest on a crisp piece of folded looseleaf, Dean pulled the paper between his fingers and opened it,

You look hot in those ripped jeans. Don’t know how you’re not already taken- oh wait, yes you are (; -Cas

Dean snorted a laughter and slipped the paper into his back pocket. This was going to work out just fine. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The quote Cas was saying is from Ralph Emmerson's [Nature](http://transcendentalism-legacy.tamu.edu/authors/emerson/nature.html) I couldn't find a better link because I read it on paper so if you guys want to read it there it is cx.


	4. Out of My League

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean looked up at Sam, “What?”
> 
> Sam looked slightly taken back, his mouth slightly gaping and eyes widening, “You really like him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title from: [Out of My League- Fitz and The Tantrums](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4mbxaa3XL8&feature=kp!)
> 
> Unbeat'd
> 
> Enjoy!

It was a normally quiet Wednesday, Dean laying on his back with his phone in hand on his bed while Sam was splayed across the floor with a pile of books surrounding him. Wednesdays were free of practice for Dean and extracurriculars for Sam, so they took the free time and spent it in Dean’s room. Nothing interesting usually happened on days like these, Sam catching up on homework and Dean doing just enough to keep his grades up and whatever else came to mind- like right now, texting Cas. 

Dean was continuing his game from Monday, sending Cas a stupid picture and Cas replying with an equally as stupid picture or a message telling Dean how much the picture made him laugh. Dean smiled goofily at his phone screen, thumbs flying over to reply to Cas and little huffs of laughs emitting from his mouth. 

**From Photographer: Stop making me laugh! I’ll never get my hw done like this!**

Dean rolled his eyes, 

**To Photographer: You know you like it (;**

**From Photographer: Babe putting winky faces is really suggestive.**

Dean blushed slightly at the ‘babe’ that Cas threw in. He never thought he’d be the one getting the pet name, he never _was_ the one to get a pet name in a relationship. It was always him to the chick and the chick never called him anything but ‘Dean’. Trying not to show how much the name meant to him, he replied

**To Photographer: Oh yeah?**

**From Photographer: Yes. Now all I can think about is those pink lips of yours and not this stupid government hw.**

Dean felt himself flush ad Cas’ words. They haven’t gotten much one on one face time this week. Cas doing little photographing gigs and Dean with his practice. Occasionally they’d time and plan a bathroom meetup, both of them getting out of their classes and going to the bathroom by the bio room. They’d kiss each other, lips melding, hold hands, enjoying the warmth coming off each other in this November weather, and sometimes just talk and enjoy the little time they were granted. 

**To Photographer: My lips aren’t that pink!**

“Who are you texting?”

Dean dragged his eyes away from the phone screen and to Sam. Sam was now sitting crossed-legged on the floor, eyebrow raised and a pencil rolling between his fingers.

Dean’s eyes involuntarily flicked back to his phone, “Uh, nobody.”

Sam rolled his eyes, “Girlfriend?”

Dean scoffed, “No.” which was true. He wasn’t dating a girl. He was dating a guy. A person with a penis instead of a vagina, simple as that. And he was hot too. Piercing and makeup giving him that mysterious look, body that looked like he could eat a bucket of hamburgers but like he ran occasionally, lips that were chapped and felt oh so fucki-

“Boyfriend?”

“What?” Dean sputtered, all thoughts of how amazing Cas was leaving his mind. 

Sam gave him a face and sighed, “Do you have a boyfriend?”

“Why would you think that?”

Sam shrugged, “You have that goofy look on your face like you do with a girl, but you said it wasn’t a girl and you always brag about who you’re going out with and.. I uh, I found something.”

Dean narrowed his eyes at Sam, “You found something?”

Sam nodded and stuck his hands in his pant pocket. He pulled out a slightly wrinkled folded paper, blue lines looking slightly smudged like they got wet. He unfolded the paper and cleared his throat, “ _You look hot_ \- ew- _in those ripped jeans. Don’t know how you’re not already taken- oh wait, yes you are winky face, Cas_ ” Sam looked up at Dean and raised his eyebrows, “Okay, a few things. One, i’m pretty sure Ellen told you not to wear those pants anymore, two, who’s ‘Cas’? and three, why’d you hide this _Cas_ from me anyways?”

Dean bit his lip and looked down at Sam. His eyes were almost pleading, halfway between puppy and saddened. Dean couldn’t lie to Sam and he couldn’t lie about Cas- not to Sam at least, maybe not to anyone. If he could he would just brush this whole thing off. Tell Sam that it’s nobody and throw the note away. Say that Cas is some hot blonde with a big rack and hazel eyes- everything he’s not (well except the hot part, because Cas is smoking). 

Dean cleared his throat, “Cas is.. Cas is my- uh- boyfriend.” Dean looked down at Sam, studying his face for any hint of disgust or surprise- but he found neither. 

“Oh,” he said casually, “do you have a picture of him?”

Dean sputtered slightly, Sam wasn’t damning him to hell or anything. No, he just wanted a picture. Innocent to the world and all. 

Dean shook his head, “Leme’ ask him for one.”

**To Photographer: Can you send me a pic of yourself?**

**From Photographer: Why -.- ?**

Dean rolled his eyes, 

**To Photographer: Because my brother wants to see what my hot boyfriend looks like.**

Dean looked at Sam and held a finger up, “He’s being difficult.”

**From Photographer: 1 MMS**  
 **From Photographer: You told him?**

Dean opened the picture message first. It was simple, Cas slightly smiling with the Rolling Stones shirt from today, his hair was a mess (as it should be), all the same piercings were in and his blue eyes are framed with a thin line of black. 

Dean handed the phone to Sam and watched his face. Sam’s eyes looked at the screen intently, like he needed to find the hidden message. 

“He’s cute- for a guy I mean.” Sam looked up at Dean and frowned, “But he doesn’t look your- uh, type. What’s in it for you?”

Dean scowled and took back his phone, “What do you mean? There’s nothing in it for me. He’s really nice and I like him- easy as that. So, he’s not the _ideal_ -” Dean made a face at his choice of words, “- guy or person for me. But.. he makes me happy.” Dean looked at the screen in his hands. The small smile that he’s so used to, the lip piercing that Dean knows feels amazing against his own lips and tongue. 

“Oh.”

Dean looked up at Sam, “What?”

Sam looked slightly taken back, his mouth slightly gaping and eyes widening, “You really like him.”

“No duh.” Dean rolled his eyes, opening up the messaging app to reply back to Cas.

”No, Dean.” Sam placed his hand over Dean’s phone screen, “You _really_ like him.”

“What do you mean?”

Sam sighed roughly. “You talked about him just now like you talk about your car when someone insults it-”

Dean pointed at Sam, “ _Her_.”

“See! That’s what i’m talking about. You use the same tone as when you talk about _her_ like when you talk about him. You get all defensive like you’re going to rip out someones throat or something.”

Dean shrugged, “I just..” he didn’t realize that he’d fallen so hard for Cas. That he’d probably give up his Impala for him, that he would do almost anything for him. It was only a matter of a few days, only secretive kisses in empty bathrooms, various texts and side glances while passing to class. He’d connected with Cas more than he ever did- with anyone. His friends included. He could tell Cas anything, that he could go and do anything with Cas. 

Dean looked up at Sam, letting his bravado fall ever so slightly, “I like him a lot.” 

Sam removed his hand from Dean’s phone and sat back on his haunches, “Then why don’t we know about him?”

Dean bit his tongue, tasting iron, it was complicated. He knew he liked Cas a lot, obviously, but giving up status for him? It seemed reasonable, that if he did so he could hold Cas’ hand on the way to English, kiss him after lunch in the middle of a crowded hall way, card his hair back when it got stuck on his forehead. Could he do it? Actually come out to the world and hold Cas like he was meant to be held, maybe _love_ Cas like he was supposed to be loved one day. 

But what if Cas hurt him? Made his heart bleed in ways that others couldn’t? Push the knife in and twist, then pull out and leave Dean with nothing more than a seeping wound? What if after Dean came out to the world and took shit Cas decided he was done? That he didn’t want to be Dean’s one plus anymore, that he wanted someone more like _him_ and less like Dean? 

No. 

Cas isn’t like that, right? He’s noble and kind, he’s snarky and sexy, he’s everything that Dean could ever dream of. He wouldn’t hurt a fly even though he looks like he could shoot down a bird with the blink of an eye. He loves more things than anyone should be allowed to, like the ocean and early mornings on Sundays. He has a way with words that one wouldn’t think could ever come out of the mouth of teenager with piercings and eyeliner. He’s warm and he couldn’t hurt Dean, right? 

“You didn’t know about him before today because i’m not- i’m not out.”

Sam made a small “oh” sound, he rolled his lips between his teeth and unrolled them, “Why don’t you just come out then?”

“If it were that easy I would have done it already.” Dean snapped back. 

Sam sighed, "Bobby won't care, nor will Ellen, they'd probably take him in with open arms... but with school, that's something different entirely. I don't know if they'll be shooting rainbows anytime soon, but keeping Cas in the closet like that-" Sam shook his head, "-that's just wrong."

Dean studied the floor, not wanting to meet Sam’s eyes, “I know.”

“Then do something about it.”

Dean’s phone pinged with another message,

**From: Photographer: Dean???**

Dean hesitated before replying, 

**To Photographer: Sorry. Talking to Sam. Do you maybe want to come over for dinner tomorrow?**

Dean looked up at Sam, “I asked him to dinner, uh, here tomorrow.”

“So, you’re going to tell Ellen and Bobby?”

Dean cleared his throat, “Kinda’.”

Sam glared at him, “You’re not going to tell them it’s a guy are you?”

“Right on the nose, Sammy.”

Sam rolled his eyes, “Whatever, Dean.”

Dean watched Sam pick up all his things and leave the room, sparing him a glance before shutting the door. Dean looked down at his phone and opened the new message, 

**From Photographer: I’d love to.**

Dean smiled at his phone and got up from his bed. He casually walked down stairs into the living room where he guessed Ellen was. 

Ellen was sitting in the armchair by the window, thin framed reading glasses perched on her nose with a magazine in her lap, she had a pen behind her ear and a serious look in her eyes. Dean cleared his throat when he stopped right by her chair, waiting for her to look up at him. 

“How can I help you, honey?”

Dean shifted his weight slightly, “Can my.. _date_ come over tomorrow? I- uh- I want you to meet them.”

Ellen eyed Dean curiously, “Sure. You’ve never brought over anyone so this _person_ must be pretty important, huh?”

Dean flushed slightly, “Yeah, they are..”

Ellen nodded, “Alright, will they be coming home with you after school?”

Dean’s eyes winded. He forgot, how was Cas going to get here? He had to take Cas home with him. That wouldn’t be such a bad thing, no, that could just be one more step to him coming fully out.

Dean smiled, “Yeah, they are.” 

“Okay,” Ellen smiled back, “I can’t wait to meet them.”

“I can’t wait for you to meet them either. ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh, I love making these endings all cliffhanger-esque.


	5. Cannonball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel hummed, “Is he going to pull out his shotgun and tell me not to hurt you?”
> 
> “He just might. He’s one of those guys.”
> 
> “I’ll make sure to stock up on Kevlar.” Castiel mummered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again c: the title is from [Damien Rice- Cannonball](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkUDAqBv2OM)
> 
> I know this chapter is a little bit shorter than I usually put out, but it's because I didn't want to throw a lot of plot in one chapter. It would have been a lot to write and a lot to read on you guys. Anyways,
> 
> unbeta'd  
> Enjoy!

Dean’s eyes flicked up to the clock for the millionth time today. The hands seemed like they weren’t moving, just taunting Dean and sticking their tongue out at him. His eyes flicked to where Cas was sitting across the room, his pen flying over the poem they were supposed to be annotating, tongue peeking out of his mouth where he was playing with his piercing and one hand propping his head up. Dean felt a small smile play over his face, no matter how sexy and hot Cas was- he was adorable as fuck too. With the little movements he did without knowing, to the mop of hair that couldn’t be tamed, to the way he pouted when Dean kissed him after school and told him he had to get to practice because he couldn’t be late again this week-

Dean felt an elbow nudge his side and looked over to Benny, “What?” he whispered, not wanting to get in trouble for the millionth time because the teacher had it out for him.

“What’s up with that look on your face?” 

Dean frowned, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Benny raised his eyebrow, “Sure, and I’m not from the south.” He drawled, “You got a new honey on your hip?” 

Dean looked down at his paper and away from the prying eyes of Benny. He didn’t want to lie- he wanted to be able to open up like he did with Sam yesterday. He could trust Benny, right? 

He and Benny had made an easy friendship in freshman year, Benny new to Brooklyn and Dean looking for someone not from his old school to hang out with. Benny was easy going, relaxed and surprisingly liberal for someone that came from the south. They each played a game of favors with each other, Dean getting Andrea to go out with him and Benny in return letting Dean copy his Home Ec homework. Just last week Benny forgot his mitt at home and was going to face the wrath of Bobby when Dean let him borrow his spare, so he could cash in a favor. 

Dean turned to look at Benny who was still giving him the raised eyebrow look, “If I tell you then you can’t tell anyone, got it?”

Benny shrugged, “What ever floats your boat.”

Dean looked around the classroom once more and decided against saying anything, instead he wrote it down. Dean ripped off a piece of looseleaf paper from his binder and scrawled,

_Castiel, yeah, he’s my boyfriend thing._

He folded up the paper and hesitantly placed it on Benny’s desk. He nervously tapped his pen against the desk, worried that he’d lose a friend or that Benny wouldn’t be as understanding as Sam. Dean looked back over at Benny who starred at the paper like it was a difficult math problem.

Benny looked over at Dean, eyebrows furrowed, “No judgement man. I’m happy for you.. but.. What? Since when were you playing for the other team?” 

Dean shrugged, “I dunno’.. all I know is that I like him a lot but I can’t like him in public and it sucks sometimes.”

Benny slumped down in his seat, “It would suck not to hold my Andrea’s hand in public.. but why don’t you just.. come out?”

Dean shot Benny a side glance and folded his arms across his chest, “‘S not that easy.”

“Sure it is, you’re just afraid.”

Dean gaped at Benny, stunned by his sharp words. 

“Don’t give me that look you know it’s true.” 

Dean looked back at his paper. Eyes lowered, ashamed. 

“Look,”

Dean kept his eyes on his paper.

“If you like him as much as you say you do then you’re not showing it to him. Don’t care what the guys on the team think. I sure as hell don’t care, you don’t need them anyway.”

Dean looked over at Benny, slightly deflating, “Really?”

Benny nodded, “If they’re ashamed of you then fuck them. You got your boyfriend, your family, Andrea and I and who ever else doesn’t care. You don’t need some sweaty goons in your life.” 

Dean bit his lip and looked over to where Cas was staring out in the open space in front of him, pen over his flipped over paper, “Thanks, Benny.”

“No problem, brother.”

Dean took Benny’s words into consideration. If someone couldn’t accept him for who he was- then why should he care? He didn’t know if he was hurting Cas- how much he was hurting Cas. 

Dean put himself in Cas’ shoes, having a partner that he knew was ashamed of being with them, someone that cared more about their social status than the person they were going out with. It was wrong and cruel, it was everything Dean wouldn’t want, hell, they haven’t been going out that long but Cas should have dumped his ass the second he said that he wasn’t ready to be out yet. 

So Dean decided he’d fess up. Hold Cas’ hand as they walk to his car, kiss him when they’re in it and stick the finger to anyone who cared. 

\----

Dean walked over to Cas’ desk when the bell rang, he watched him organize his papers before slipping them in his backpack and pat down his pants for his phone before speaking up, “Ready?”

Castiel jumped slightly and looked up at Dean with an exhale, “Yeah.. Wait, you’re actually going to walk with me to you car? No picking up at corner thing?”

Dean felt his stomach slightly drop at how surprised Cas was with him, “Look, i’ve decided that making you hide is a shit thing to do-”

“No, duh.” Cas muttered, looking down at his hands. 

“-so i’m not going to do that.”

Cas’ head shot up, blue eyes wide in astonishment, “What?”

“M’ not going to do that. I’m gonna’ take your hand, we’re gonna’ walk to your locker if we need to and then to my car. And when we get in my car i’m going to kiss you. And during dinner i’ll hold your hand under the table and introduce you as my boyfriend. Then i’m going to drive you home, walk you to your door and kiss you good night. And tomorrow when we get to school i’ll make sure to hold your hand and kiss you when you want me to. And if anyone gives us shit i’ll make sure to beat them up, okay?” 

Castiel looked up at Dean, tears welling in his eyes and nose runny. His hands were shaking where they were in his lap. 

Dean kneeled down on the floor, meeting Castiel’s height, “No, baby, no. Don’t cry, don’t cry baby.” He swiped his thumb underneath Castiel’s eye and caught a falling tear, “I don’t like seeing you cry. Don’t be sad.” Dean whispered, thumbs resting on Cas’ cheeks. 

Castiel shook his head, “I’m not sad,” he took in a shaky breath, “I just- I just thought you were going to treat me like every other ‘straight’ guy i’ve been with, you know? Like not letting me be _me_ by keeping us in the closet.”

Dean leaned in and kissed the tip of Cas’ nose, “I’m not that guy. Not any more at least.” He stood up and took Cas’ hand, “Lets go.”

Castiel smiled and wiped his eyes, he picked up his bag with one arm and took Dean’s hand with the other. They exited the classroom and went into the emptying hallways.

Dean kept his eyes forward and not on anyone that might be looking at them. He glanced over at Castiel who had a small smile on his face, and that smile was worth it all. 

“Do you need to go to your locker?” 

Castiel shook his head, “No.. don’t you have practice today?”

Dean chuckled, “I might be skipping it so you can meet my aunt before my uncle gets home.”

Castiel hummed, “Is he going to pull out his shotgun and tell me not to hurt you?”

“He just might. He’s one of those guys.”

“I’ll make sure to stock up on Kevlar.” Castiel mummered. 

Dean snorted and exhaled as they reached the parking lot. He parked Baby towards the back but a parking lot was better than a crowded hallway. He could feel eyes boring into his back as he and Cas walked to the Impala but he tried not to care. To ignore the looks for the warm hand laced with his and the happy little smile on Cas’ face. 

Dean opened the door like a perfect gentleman for Cas and then rounded it to his side. He smirked slightly when he saw Castiel giving the car a wondrous look and stuck the key into the ignition, while he waited for the car to warm up, Dean leaned over and took Cas’ chin between his fingers and kissed him as softly as he could. 

He tried to throw all his emotions in the kiss: Happiness, Anxiety and even a little dash of what could be Love. He felt Cas’ breath on his lips when he pulled back and smiled; this was actually going to work. He was going to be able to freely go out with Cas, no more hiding in the bathroom and separating when they thought someone was walking in. No more of people thinking they were both single and on the market. None of that. Just him and Cas and their looks and touches and words. And that’s all he needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was about to slap my own plot if Dean didn't do this.


	6. Such Great Heights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel bowed slightly, “Nice to meet you Ellen.” before following Dean out of the kitchen.
> 
> Dean took Cas’ hand when they were going up the stairs, “She likes you,” he whispered.
> 
> “She’s intimidating.”
> 
> Dean shrugged, “She’s Ellen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from: [The Postal Service- Such Great Heights](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wrsZog8qXg)
> 
> I had time to write this chapter in these test-filled weeks. Sorry for the long not-updating time.

Dean could feel Castiel tensing up as they neared his house. Cas’ palms were sweaty where they were laced with Dean’s and Dean could almost laugh. From all he knows about Cas he’s never seen him this freaked out. He’s usually cool like a cucumber; going with the flow but doing his own thing at the same time. And now he’s fidgeting in the passenger seat and darting his eyes everywhere. Dean spared him another look out of the corner of his eye while they were at a stop sign and smiled. He was fucking cute when he was nervous. 

Dean brought their laced hands to his lip and kissed Cas’ lightly, “It’s going to be fine, Cas. Ellen’s going to love you, Sam will probably question you about everything and Jo will try to act like she’s out to kill you but then share makeup secrets with you later.” 

Castiel frowned, “You didn’t say anything about Bobby.”

Dean shrugged, “He’s a tricky one. I’ve never brought anyone home and he’s like my dad so he’ll want to make sure you pass his tests.” Bobby was the one that Dean was most afraid of. He didn’t know how he’d react to him being gay- or whatever- and with one of the most off kilter kids at school. The man was his coach and his father figure, the one that put the roof over his head when his own father couldn’t and took both he and Sammy in. 

“And what if I don’t pass?”

Dean squeezed Cas’ hand before pulling into his driveway. He left the car running for the heater and looked over to Cas, “If you don’t pass then you don’t. You’re dating me anyway, no him. You’re mine.” He hesitantly leaned across the cab and pecked Cas on the cheek. His warm lips against Castiel’s cool and rosy skin. He was still worried about PDA and what people would think- still getting used to the fact that he’s no longer an asshole and is actually showing to people (and himself) that he does in fact play for the other team. 

Castiel smirked, “Possessive much?”

Dean rolled his eyes and pulled on Cas’ hand, “Well you are mine- you know, monogamous an all.”

“Oh, I forgot about that. Maybe I should go tell my other boyfriends that i’m off the market.”

Dean felt a little spit of possessiveness in the pit of his stomach and leaned into Cas’ space and growled, “You don’t have any other boyfriends and if you did then not anymore.”

“Mm,” Castiel hummed, licking his lips, “I guess I won’t send them that email then.”

Dean ignored the comment and moved back across the cab. Dean let go of Cas’ hand to unbuckle his seat belt and waited for Cas to do the same. He flicked the lock up on his door and started getting out, hoping Cas would catch the idea to do the same. 

Lucky for him, Cas did just that. 

He smiled when Cas laced their fingers together and leaned into his side, "I am yours," Castiel said with a small shrug, "just so you know." 

Dean pushed him slightly with his shoulder, "And I'm yours just as much as you're mine."

Castiel paused their walking up the sidewalk to the house, "Yeah?"

Dean squeezed his hand and exhaled, "Yeah." 

Dean gave Cas one last glance before unlocking the door with his set of keys and pulling them in. Dean could tell Ellen cleaned up, the air smelled like lemon cleaner and the wooden floors were shinier than he saw them this morning. Dean nudged Cas’ side with his shoulder, “She cleaned for you.”

Castiel let out a shaky laugh, “Heh, okay. Wow, her expectations are way too high.”

Dean frowned and looked down at Cas, “No they’re not. Hell, if I were the one cleaning i’d make sure there wasn’t a speck of dust in the air.”

Castiel looked down at the floor and played with his piercing, “I’m not that important.”, he muttered scuffing his shoes together. 

“Yeah you are.” Dean squeezed their hands together, “You’re my first boyfriend and the first person that have formally met my family. You might as well be the queen of England.” 

Dean didn’t like the thought of Cas downgrading himself in his head or out loud, he wanted him to be the confidant kid he saw on the baseball field. The one that told Dean what to do and didn’t take his shit. But he never thought that it could just be a facade; a front that Castiel put up so that nobody gave him any shit. He never thought that maybe his snarky boyfriend was just someone who used snark as a defense and was instead someone that needed a little love and warmth to ease the demons that ate at him. 

And if Dean could be the one to give him that love then that’s the best damn thing he could do instead of taking care of Sammy who seems just fine on his own. 

“Well, then i’m honored and so should you be.” he stubbornly replied. 

Dean chuckled, “I’m always honored.”, he tugged on Cas’ hand and made a ‘come on’ motion with his head. He pulled them through the small hallway, out into the living room and then through the kitchen doors where he figured Ellen probably was.

“Hey, Ellen.” Dean said, he let go of Cas’ hand for a moment to give his surrogate mother a quick hug before moving back to his boyfriend. He pointed to Cas, ”This is Cas- Castiel, sorry.” and then back to Ellen, “And this is Ellen.” He watched Ellen give Cas a once over before sticking her hand out and smiling.

“I’m Ellen, this brats aunt.”

Castiel took Ellen’s hand and shook it, “Castiel, uh, his boyfriend?” 

Dean chuckled, “Don’t gotta’ make it a question.”

Castiel shot Dean a small glare that looked more like a kitten waking up from a nap than anything. 

Ellen laughed lightly, she leaned against the counter and looked at the both of them. From the differences between them to their linked hands that hung between them. 

“Sammy’s still at school?”

Ellen shook her head, “NHS was canceled today, he should be upstairs with Jo. I’ll call y’all down when dinner’s done.”

Dean nodded, “Okay.”

Castiel bowed slightly, “Nice to meet you Ellen.” before following Dean out of the kitchen.

Dean took Cas’ hand when they were going up the stairs, “She likes you,” he whispered. 

“She’s intimidating.” 

Dean shrugged, “She’s Ellen.”

They took their time going up the stairs. Dean stopped and let Castiel look at the pictures that hung crookedly on the wall. A progression from when Dean was only a baby, Dean holding a burrito wrapped Sam in his arms, John and Mary with their sons, and so on and so forth. The latest picture was of Jo, Sam and Dean in Time Square on one lazy weekend when they decided they wanted to go into NY via subway/bus. They stopped at the picture of Mary and John. Mary sitting next to John at someone’s kitchen table, she was leaning her head on John’s shoulder and John was holding one of her hands in his. They both were young, faces full of happiness and nothing else.

“Who are they?”

Dean cleared the lump in his throat, “Mom and dad.”

Castiel squeezed their hands and smiled, “You’re mother’s very beautiful.”

Dean nodded and gave the picture a watery smile, “Yeah, she was.”

He missed his mom dearly. If he could do anything to get his mom back he would. He’d walk to the ends of the earth, sell his soul, pray to every God that would listen to get his mom back. But he knew he couldn’t. He couldn’t change anything that happened to his mom. He couldn’t take back the fire that took his mom’s life when he was only four. He couldn’t take back the alcoholism that consumed his father and made them end up with Ellen and Bobby after three years of motel room after motel room with a newborn that was all up to him to take care of. 

He couldn’t take any of it back. 

But he didn’t know if he even _wanted_ to. If his mom was still alive he’d still be in the hummdrumm of Kansas with a father that could be set so easily off course. He wouldn’t have grown up with a little sister that he didn’t know he wanted. He’d never have gotten in to baseball and he would never have met Cas. 

And as much as he’s trying to convince himself that this long of a relationship is too short for him to fall in love, he can’t.

Dean turned to Castiel and gave him a half watery smile. One filled with the longing for his mother and at the same time warm with adoration that he never thought he could give.

They continued up the stairs, the emotions between them a little softer as they got family history in and Dean’s little moment to himself. 

Dean briefly showed Castiel his room, opening the door for him to see the bland, clean look of his room, before shutting it and knocking on Jo’s.

She grunted as permission for him to open the door and rolled over on her bed, “Sup guys?”

“Do I have to do more introductions or do you guys know each other?”

“I got ‘em in health.”

Castiel nodded, “Joanna Beth.”

Jo rolled her eyes, “It’s Jo, none of that formal shit.”

“Where’s Sam?” Dean looked around the room and noticed that his hardly missed brother was nowhere in sight. 

“Uh.. bathroom- I think.” Jo nodded, “Yeah, I’m pretty sure he’s in the bathroom.”

Dean nodded and awkwardly looked around the room he’s seen dozens of times. He knew that he should be the one initiating conversation- but he couldn’t bring himself to. It’s like his tongue got stuck in his throat and wouldn’t let him think of a single conversation starter. He could feel the tenseness leaking off of Cas and pressing on to him. Like it was willing him to say something and break the thin glass that was put between all of them. He looked at Jo for some sort of push and found her eyeing Cas curiously. Her mouth slightly parted like she was about to say something but couldn’t find the right words for it.

Until she did. 

“How do you get your eyeliner to look so great?”

“Hm? Oh- uh, I use liquid.” Castiel stuck his hand into his back pocket and pulled out something Dean would identify as a fat pen with a weird cap. He plucked the cap off and made a drawing motion, “Just go slowly and try not to blink ‘cause then that’s when you fuck it up.” He closed the liner and tossed it to Jo, “It takes some practice to get the bottom lid.” 

Dean watched Jo undo the cap. He almost gasped at how much the thing looked like something used to torture and not a tool to help give Cas that sexy little line under his eye. He turned to Cas and gawked, “You stick _that_ in your eye?!”

Castiel shrugged, “You get used to it after a while.”

“But- that’s.. that looks like it could kill someone or poke out your eye.”

“Don’t be a wuss, Dean.” Jo snorted, “I use these all the time, ‘sides I think you’d look nice with a little eyeliner. Don’t you think, Cas?”

Castiel hummed and gave Dean a heated once over that made something spark in Dean’s groin, “I think you’d look really hot.”

Jo groaned, “No undressing him with your eyes in my room!” she threw the eyeliner at Castiel who caught it on reflex. 

Dean blushed and cleared his throat, trying to regain his voice without it cracking, “I wouldn’t put makeup on anyways. Not my thing.”

Castiel arched up his brow and took a step forward, making Dean take one back, “Really? Because” another step forward and one back, “I think” Dean bumped into the wall, “you’d look _amazing_.” Castiel purred, his breath hot on Dean’s face. 

Dean was so caught up in the moment- Cas’ blown eyes, hot body against his and the way Cas’ nose was nudging his cheek that he didn’t notice the shift of Castiel moving his hand to open the eyeliner stick. Dean was about to move to place his hands on Cas’ hips when Jo’s bedroom door busted open.

“Oh my gosh! Jo- wha-”

And of course Sam would walk in when Dean felt like throwing Cas’ clothing off and seeing that body he had yet to view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure when the next chapter will but up but thank you for sticking with me now

**Author's Note:**

> [My Tumblr](http://putticas.tumblr.com/)


End file.
